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CD-3 [CD-1 CD-2]
1801
But I'm not sure
you realize that.
1802
What are you doing?
1803
It's a technique
I learned in Hawaii.
1804
It's a Lomi-Lomi massage
1805
named after the gentle waves
of the Polynesian Sea.
1806
The waves go in,
and the waves go out.
1807
The waves go in.
1808
Whoops.
1809
Hit some driftwood.
1810
Jack Byrnes, you are a caged lion.
1811
But lions can't be captives
their entire lives.
1812
They have to be free
to roam the bush,
1813
free and wild.
1814
Your wife is a hot,
sexy tigress
1815
and she's waiting for you
to pounce on her.
1816
Let me hear you roar,
baby, roar.
1817
Your body is talking to me.
1818
It's hungry for action.
1819
I can feel it.
1820
Unleash the beast inside you.
1821
Mom, stop it.
You're hurting him.
1822
I am not hurting him.
I am helping him.
1823
Just don't-- don't--
1824
I don't think you
should move just yet.
1825
Jack, come back
for an afternoon session.
1826
It'll do you good.
1827
What're you doing?
1828
We were so close.
I could feel it.
1829
I was getting through to him.
1830
The guy doesn't
like to be touched.
1831
Because he has
1832
the emotional hide
of a rhinoceros.
1833
Don't break him down.
Just let him be.
1834
I was trying to do you
a favour.
1835
You were riding him
like Seabiscuit, Mom.
1836
Dial Foxtrot One.
1837
Alpha, Foxtrot One.
1838
Foxtrot One.
1839
I need a full comparative
DNA analysis
1840
on
one Gaylord M Focker
1841
and one Jorge Villalobos.
1842
Translation,
George, House of the wolves.
1843
It might take
a couple of weeks, Santa.
1844
No good, Foxtrot One,
I need a 12-hour turnaround.
1845
I'll secure the physical
evidence and the handoff will be
1846
at Harry Focker's
Good Time Supper Club,
1847
2100 hours tonight.
1848
You got it, Santa.
Foxtrot One out.
1849
Yello?
1850
Bernie, this is Jack Byrnes.
1851
Hey, Jack. Hey, where
are you calling from?
1852
I'm in my RV.
1853
Would you have Greg
meet me here in three minutes?
1854
You're in your trailer?
1855
Thank you, goodbye.
1856
But...
1857
Hey, Gaylord!
1858
Jack wants you to meet him
1859
in his trailer
in precisely three minutes.
1860
And I have to
tell you,
1861
EI Stiffo was really
starting to freak me out.
1862
Greg, wait, okay?
1863
Listen, no matter
how hard he probes you,
1864
you have to promise me
that you will not break
1865
because I'm not ready
to tell him I'm pregnant.
1866
Hey, honey.
1867
Honey.
What? What?
1868
Let him probe,
1869
'cause he's probing
a brick wall.
1870
Now show me how
1871
you would like
a romantic evening to go.
1872
Oh, Jack, wine and candles?
1873
Gosh, it's not
even our anniversary.
1874
Come here, hot stuff.
1875
Yes, yes. Oh, Jack.
1876
Jack?
1877
Down here, under the bed.
1878
Down here, Greg.
1879
Wow.
1880
Have a seat.
1881
Watch the panel.
1882
This is incredible.
1883
So this is like your, uh,
mobile command centre
1884
for all your spy activities?
1885
Mainly a secure space for me
to spend some alone time
1886
and reflect on my thoughts.
1887
Mmm.
Very cool.
1888
Greg.
Yeah?
1889
You'll recall,
1890
we had a discussion earlier in
the week regarding my feelings
1891
about family, legacies,
children and so forth.
1892
Oh, yeah, of course I recall.
Yeah.
1893
I'm going to
just ask you once.
1894
Is there anything
you want to tell me
1895
regarding things
that might have happened?
1896
Unplanned things?
1897
Things involving
the fruit of your loins?
1898
No.
1899
Well, if he's not going
to admit it on his own...
1900
Hello?
1901
Hello, Jorge?
1902
It's Jack Byrnes,
remember me?
1903
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
1904
You came to
the house with Bernie.
1905
You had that
fancy camera pen.
1906
Yeah, that's right.
1907
Listen, do you have
any plans tonight?
1908
Uh, no.
1909
Good, 'cause I'd like to
invite you to a party.
1910
Hey.
Sweetie.
1911
Having a good time?
1912
Uh, no, not really.
1913
No?
1914
Hey, listen, sweetie, did you
tell your mother I'm pregnant?
1915
Because she keeps touching
my stomach
1916
and
smiling like that.
1917
Yeah. No, I didn't tell her.
She just, she guessed.
1918
She what?
1919
Yeah, and then
she told my dad.
1920
Oh, my God.
1921
Stop it, Bernie.
Bernie, stop.
1922
It's not funny.
1923
I told my mom.
1924
What?
1925
Yeah.
1926
What?
Why'd you...
1927
Your dad
will definitely find out.
1928
She knows my dad.
She'd never say a word.
1929
No, no.
But he's very suspicious.
1930
Greg. Hi.
Hey.
1931
Hi. Honey, would you take this
to your mother?
1932
It's a wine spritzer.
1933
That's all she drinks now.
1934
You boys have fun.
1935
Nice.
Nice party.
1936
Isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's nice.
1937
It's got a nice festive vibe.
1938
You met some of the, uh,
some of the cousins?
1939
I met some. Yes.
I met some, um...
1940
Dom.
1941
Yeah, Dom Focker.
1942
That's my dad's, uh,
first cousin.
1943
Did you meet his kids,
Randy and Horny?
1944
I've met Randy and Horny.
Yes.
1945
Come on. I want to
introduce you to somebody.
1946
Come on.
1947
Oh, there he is.
1948
Glad you could
make it, Jorge.
1949
Oh, hey,
thanks for the invite, Mr. B.
1950
Greg,
this is Jorge Villalobos.
1951
Hey.
1952
Hey, how you doing?
1953
Isabel's son.
1954
Oh, I didn't realize
Isabel had a son.
1955
When did she get married?
1956
She-she's not married.
1957
Oh, he's never met
his father.
1958
Oh.
1959
I'm sorry.
1960
That's, I mean,
that's-- that's too bad.
1961
Oh, no, no, it's-- it's cool.
1962
My mom said my dad
wasn't like, mature enough
1963
to deal with a kid,
anyway, so, yeah.
1964
So how do you
guys know each other?
1965
Oh, this young man
is quite the mechanic.
1966
And he's only 15 years old.
Isn't that impressive?
1967
Really? You're 15?
1968
Yeah.
That is impressive.
1969
He's a handsome kid, huh?
1970
Yeah.
1971
Almost like a young,
half-Hispanic Marlon Brando.
1972
Well,
1973
I'll leave
you two guys to talk.
1974
You probably have
a lot in common.
1975
Well, hmm.
1976
So you're 15.
1977
Come on, let's conga.
1978
Did you order
the Tom Collins, sir?
1979
Is it made with
fresh lemon juice?
1980
They're Bermuda lemons, sir.
1981
And I squeezed them myself.
1982
Stay safe, Santa.
1983
I mean,
it's romantic out here,
1984
don't you think?
1985
The moon, the sea,
1986
isn't it nice?
1987
Hmm.
Yeah, it's nice.
1988
You look very handsome
tonight, Jack.
1989
Oh.
Thank you, honey.
1990
What are you
doing to my ears?
1991
Nothing.
1992
Hey!
1993
I have to go to the bathroom,
I'll be right back.
1994
Okay.
1995
Hello, Greg.
1996
Hi, Jack.
1997
Did you have
a nice conversation
1998
with your son?
1999
Jack, I've never even met
that kid before.
2000
Focker, you've been covering
this up from the very beginning.
2001
No, I haven't, Jack.
2002
It's just another one
of your crazy theories.
2003
Greg.
2004
You're still in
the circle of trust,
2005
so I'm gonna give you
one more chance.
2006
Are you ready to admit
2007
that you've been hiding this
from Pam?
2008
No, I haven't.
2009
You're not hiding anything?
2010
No, all right?
2011
Oh, Greg.
2012
What are you holding?
What's in your hand?
2013
Nothing.
2014
Jack, I can see it
in the mirror. What is it?
2015
You got something
in your hand.
2016
Don't worry about it, Greg.
2017
Is that a needle?
2018
Yes, it is.
2019
You seem tense.
2020
I was going to
offer you a sedative.
2021
You're joking, right?
2022
No, I'm not.
2023
Jack.
2024
Is that tartar sauce
on your shoulder?
2025
Tartar sauce?
2026
Why?
2027
You've been injected
2028
with a highly concentrated
dose of sodium pentothal.
2029
Street name: Truth serum.
2030
You won't recall this
in a few minutes
2031
and tonight, for the
first time in your life,
2032
my young friend,
2033
you are going to be honest.
2034
Keep the pressure on it.
2035
Get down, Little Jack.
Get funky.
2036
Oh.
2037
Hey there, preggers.
2038
Quiet.
2039
How're you doin'?
2040
Fine, where've you been?
2041
I went to the bathroom to pee
and now I'm talking to you,
2042
my fianc?e, who I've delayed
marrying for two years
2043
because I didn't want
our parents to meet.
2044
What?
2045
What?
2046
What?
2047
You don't like me?
It's okay.
2048
I don't like your
little red outfit.
2049
Makes you look
like a little demon-baby.
2050
Maybe I'll get you
2051
a little pitchfork
for Christmas, huh,
2052
so we can put you
on a can of Underwood ham.
2053
I'm sorry that I can't make
little ''poop'' sounds
2054
and I can't make
little things
2055
that tell people
when I wanna do things.
2056
And guess what?
2057
I can make
a sign to you, too.
2058
How's that for a sign?
2059
Uh-oh. Look, Bernie's gone up
on the stage. Come.
2060
Now, to say a few words,
2061
one of the great
registered nurses of all time,
2062
Gaylord Myron Focker.
2063
Come on,
let's give it up to Gay.
2064
Give it up to him.
2065
Bernie Focker!
2066
I love the shirt, Dad.
2067
Thank you. All right.
2068
It's great to be here
with all of you
2069
as I am about to set sail
2070
in my ship of life,
2071
with my first mate,
2072
the beautiful young
blonde lass over there.
2073
Hey, baby.
2074
I love you, honey.
2075
I still masturbate to Pam.
2076
Greg.
2077
What? It's true.
2078
Honey, what?
Come on, you're hot.
2079
Look at her.
2080
Look at those boobs. Man!
2081
I just wanna--
2082
I just wanna lather them up
with soap and just...
2083
I love it.
2084
Man, I just wanna-- just wanna
nestle in there
2085
and just take
a little vacation in there.
2086
Honey.
2087
Honey, what? I'm sorry.
2088
Okay, excuse me
for you being perfect.
2089
Hey, you know
who else is great?
2090
That woman over there.
2091
My future mother-in-law,
Dina Byrnes.
2092
You know, they say
if you really wanna know
2093
what a woman
will look like
2094
when she gets older, you
should look at her mother.
2095
Well, I'm a lookin'
and I'm a likin'.
2096
Look at her! Sweetness!
2097
Good genes,
the Byrnes gene pool.
2098
Hey, hey, you.
2099
Yeah, you.
2100
Hold on.
2101
Pam,
I gotta tell you something
2102
about-- about this little
dude right here.
2103
In my first really passionate
sexual awakening,
2104
I did,
in fact, lose my virginity
2105
to our beautiful housekeeper,
Isabel.
2106
Greg, honey,
that was in the past.
2107
So why don't
you come sit down?
2108
No, no, honey, 'cause I have to
get this off my chest, really.
2109
Sit.
2110
We conceived a child.
2111
And his name is
Jorge Villalobos.
2112
Come up here, Jorge.
Come up here.
2113
Let's lift
the veil of mystery.
2114
The fruit of my loins
is right here.
2115
Everybody take a look.
See his face.
2116
He's mine.
2117
Search your feelings, Jorge.
2118
You know it to be true.
2119
It's okay.
I know.
2120
I know.
Lot of information.
2121
You let it settle.
2122
Who'd have thunk it, huh?
2123
Come on,
give that kid a hand.
2124
Oh, and, uh, Jack?
2125
Pam's pregnant.
2126
Focker out.
2127
Hey.
2128
Hey.
2129
What happened last night?
2130
Well, you got drunk
and told my dad I'm pregnant.
2131
You revealed you have
2132
a 15-year-old son
named Jorge.
2133
And, oh, apparently
you have the hots for my mom.
2134
Oh, my God.
2135
I-- I...
2136
You mean,
is that really true?
2137
I think she's attractive.
2138
No, that you have a son
you never told me about.
2139
I... Honey, if it is,
2140
I never heard about it
before last night.
2141
Isabel never
said anything to me. I-- I...
2142
I mean.
2143
I don't even
remember drinking.
2144
You're telling me the truth,
aren't you?
2145
Of course, I am.
Pam,
2146
I love you.
2147
I would never lie to you
about anything like that.
2148
I love you, too.
2149
And if Jorge
really is your son,
2150
then we will make it work.
2151
Okay.
2152
I...
2153
Hey, how did your dad react
to the pregnancy news?
2154
Well,
2155
just as you'd expect.
2156
He slept in the RV.
2157
He hasn't spoken
to anyone since last night.
2158
Pam, we have
to leave this island.
2159
Get in the RV right now.
2160
Bernard, get out
from under the vehicle
2161
or I will run you over.
2162
I'm not moving, Jack.
2163
There's a non-violent way
to handle this.
2164
What's going on?
2165
Well, your father
wants to leave,
2166
and Bernie is staging
a sit-in.
2167
Dad, come on, get up.
2168
This is ridiculous.
2169
You weren't around
in the '60s, man.
2170
This is how
we got things done.
2171
Pam, Dina, we have to
get off this island. It's evil.
2172
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV.
2173
You are acting
like such a jerk.
2174
Yes, there you go.
2175
Jacko!
Yes.
2176
Man, we're gonna
have a grandchild.
2177
Come on,
we should be celebrating.
2178
How could you not see it?
2179
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.
2180
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.
2181
Hey, Jack, I didn't even know
he existed.
2182
That's right.
2183
Who knows what to believe
with you?
2184
You're dishonest
about everything.
2185
You're so much better, Jack?
Why don't you tell everybody
2186
what you did last night
to Greg at the party.
2187
Muskrat, Dina.
2188
Oh, stuff
your muskrat, Jack.
2189
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.
2190
What?
2191
Yeah,
I found this in his pocket.
2192
Here we go again, Dad.
2193
He did the same thing
to Pam's junior prom date.
2194
Wait a minute.
Yes, yes. Wait a minute.
2195
You stuck a needle in my neck.
2196
You drugged my son?
2197
I had no choice.
He refuses to tell the truth.
2198
Because he's terrified,
2199
and he thinks
he has to impress you.
2200
He's had us
trying to impress you,
2201
but in my opinion,
2202
Jack, I think it's you
2203
who should be
trying to impress us.
2204
Jack.
2205
You've insulted me,
my wife, my son,
2206
our entire way of life.
2207
I've sat back and taken it.
But now,
2208
you've crossed the line, sir.
2209
And I'm gonna have
to kick your ass.
2210
Dad, dad, wait a second.
2211
I'm gonna teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.
2212
Just calm down.
2213
Just give me
a minute to stretch.
2214
Bernie, you're
gonna hurt yourself.
2215
We can talk this through.
2216
It's too late for words,
Rosalind.
2217
Dad, Dad, no, no,
2218
please,
no dance fighting. Stop!
2219
This is Capoeira, man.
2220
This is hardcore shit.
2221
Bernard, if you continue,
2222
you will force
me to engage you.
2223
And once I begin
the sequence of combat,
2224
it can only end
with your demise.
2225
Bring it, dog. Come on.
Bring it. Come on.
2226
He's taunting me.
2227
Dad.
2228
Greg! Greg!
2229
What, Bernie,
you're gonna snap now?
2230
Greg!
2231
What?
2232
Now look what you did.
2233
It's your fault.
2234
He's bleeding.
He's bleeding, Daddy.
2235
That's it. Pam, Dina,
2236
I'm calling
a family conference.
2237
Come on.
2238
No, Dad, this is the family.
2239
All right? In a few weeks,
I'm not gonna be Pam Byrnes.
2240
I'm gonna be Pamela Focker.
2241
Or Byrnes-Focker.
2242
We haven't
totally decided yet.
2243
No, no, no, I'm gonna be
Pamela Martha Focker.
2244
I know how that sounds,
2245
but-- but that's
the name I'm taking.
2246
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not so sure
2247
you're thinking
clearly right now.
2248
I'm trying, Dad.
2249
It's you who
is not thinking clearly.
2250
These two kids
love each other. Look.
2251
We've been kvelling about
this pregnancy all weekend.
2252
You knew she was pregnant?
2253
We all did, Jack.
2254
Daddy, I was gonna tell you
after the wedding, I swear.
2255
This is the reason I created
the circle of trust
2256
so we could
discuss these things.
2257
The circle isn't gonna work
2258
if you don't trust
anyone that's in it, Dad.
2259
Dad.
2260
Jack, don't.
2261
No, Dad.
Daddy.
2262
Honey.
2263
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?
2264
Jack. Come on.
2265
Daddy, come back, please.
2266
This is nicht gut.
2267
Is it ringing?
2268
There's no answer.
2269
Well, let's give him
some space.
2270
Maybe he's learning
to self-soothe.
2271
Roz.
What?
2272
This is crazy. I'm going.
2273
I'm coming with you, Son.
2274
No, Dad, I can do it myself.
2275
We gotta make up time.
I know these roads
2276
like the back
of my hand.
2277
Come on, let's put
this family back together.
2278
Dad, I know a shortcut.
2279
It will lead us
to the freeway.
2280
I think you make
a right up here or a left.
2281
It's either one or the other.
2282
You don't know
where we are, do you?
2283
You know,
something's wrong here.
2284
This makes no sense at all.
2285
Dad, it's a map of Detroit.
2286
Oh, well, that explains it.
2287
Dad.
2288
Punch it, Gay.
2289
We gotta catch that dude.
2290
Oh, shit.
2291
Come on.
Come on. Keep going.
2292
Dad, come on, it's a cop.
2293
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.
2294
I know how to handle
the local cops.
2295
No, don't-- don't
do any talking.
2296
Don't shush me,
I'm a lawyer.
2297
I'm not shushing you.
2298
You know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?
2299
Oh, wow.
Will you look at this guy.
2300
Don't they have
height requirements?
2301
We're screwed. No, we're not.
2302
Don't. don't, Dad, he said
to remain in the vehicle.
2303
Sir, I said to remain
in your vehicle.
2304
I just wanna talk to you
for one second.
2305
Let's just talk
like friendly Floridians.
2306
If you fail to comply,
I will arrest you.
2307
You see, my son's future
father-in-law
2308
thinks my Gay back there
has a bastard son.
2309
I said shut it.
2310
Shut it.
2311
I know my civil rights now.
2312
You know your rights? Huh?
2313
Oh!
2314
I have sensitive wrists.
2315
Excuse me.
2316
Sir, return to your vehicle.
2317
I don't know
what he said, but--
2318
That's it.
On your belly.
2319
On my belly?
2320
You got a hearing problem?
2321
No, I'm just trying to say--
2322
Now we have two failures
to comply.
2323
Now, I need the two of you
2324
to remain on the vehicle.
2325
Okay, now here's my plan.
2326
Plan?
2327
Dad, no.
2328
That was just a joke.
2329
I'm sorry.
2330
I was-- I was just trying
to help you, Gay.
2331
I know, Dad.
2332
You're always trying to help.
2333
Talk to me, Marty.
2334
What's the intel
on Operation Living Skeleton?
2335
Focker is not the kid's father, Jack.
2336
Are you kidding me?
2337
I was sure I had that pegged.
2338
I'm sending you
a visual uplink now.
2339
The dad was a minor-league
Florida ball player.
2340
His name is Rusty Bridges.
2341
We all make mistakes, Santa.
2342
Foxtrot One out.
2343
34 years spent reading
other people
2344
and I get it all wrong.
2345
My own wife,
2346
I don't even know
what she's thinking.
2347
My daughter keeps
secrets from me.
2348
Sometimes I think
you're the only person
2349
I can really talk to, L. J..
2350
Asshole.
2351
I know.
2352
F- O-C-K-E-R.
2353
Hey, it's Jack.
2354
Hey, Jack.
2355
Wait!
2356
Jack!
2357
Jack.
2358
Halt.
2359
Jack.
2360
Jack. Jack.
2361
Weaver stance!
2362
Oh, my God. You shot my son.
2363
Halt.
2364
Your son has merely
been stunned
2365
by a less than lethal weapon.
2366
Remain calm.
2367
50,000 volts of electricity
are now passing
2368
into your skeletal
muscle tissue.
2369
Your central nervous system
has been incapacitated
2370
but you will regain
motor functions momentarily.
2371
Officer, do you mind telling me
2372
why you're arresting
these men?
2373
Oh, mercy, it just gets
better and better.
2374
That is none of your business,
looky-loo.
2375
Return to your camper.
2376
At ease, son.
Put away the Taser.
2377
Jack Byrnes, CIA.
2378
C- I what?
2379
Says here you're retired.
2380
What'll you show me next,
old-timer, your AARP card?
2381
Now, you listen to me,
and you listen good.
2382
What's he doing?
2383
Don't worry,
he'll get us out of this.
2384
You have no right to--
2385
Stand down, sir.
2386
No, I will not stand down.
You will stand down.
2387
I will not stand down.
2388
You will stand down
2389
or you will be
working security
2390
in a retirement home
in Point Beach.
2391
Remain calm.
2392
It's been almost an hour.
2393
You think
they caught up with him?
2394
Hmm. Sure, sweetheart.
2395
If I know Bernie,
2396
they're probably sitting in
a caf?in Little Havana
2397
eating chimichangas
and working out their issues.
2398
Check it out.
2399
He's got a rubber booby.
2400
What's going on?
2401
What's going on? I was
talking to Judge Goldfarb.
2402
It's done, we're out.
2403
I thought you
were making a call.
2404
We don't need it. I ran into
the judge in the hall.
2405
I took care of everything.
2406
Yeah, right.
2407
What're you saying, Jack?
2408
I'm saying, if you had kept
your mouth shut
2409
in the first place
we wouldn't be in this mess.
2410
I'm a lawyer, Jack.
2411
I'm trying to get us
out of here.
2412
What'd you do, give the
judge your fondue recipe?
2413
At least I'm comfortable
enough in my own skin
2414
to cook for my family.
2415
When's the last time you gave
your wife breakfast in bed?
2416
When is the last time
you gave her anything in bed?
2417
Now you're out
of line, Focker.
2418
You're out of line, man.
2419
No, you hurt
my feelings there,
2420
and there's no reason
to hurt my feelings.
2421
Would you guys stop?
He insulted me.
2422
Well, this isn't about you,
all right?
2423
It's not about either of you.
2424
It's about me and Pam.
2425
We're getting married.
That's it.
2426
We're starting
our own circle of trust.
2427
And guess what?
You're not in it.
2428
Oh, you can't start a circle
of trust. It's my circle.
2429
You don't have a patent
on the circle, Jack.
2430
By the way, you're not even
in your own circle right now.
2431
That is untrue.
2432
I say who's in or out
of the circle.
2433
Well, I'm confused.
Whose circle am I in?
2434
Nobody's.
2435
Look,
we're starting a family, okay?
2436
We-we're gonna have a baby.
2437
I have a 15-year-old son.
2438
You guys gotta put aside
your issues
2439
and-- and
do what's best for us. Okay?
2440
Greg, Jorge is not your son.
2441
What?
2442
I had a comparative
DNA analysis done last night.
2443
And I made a mistake.
2444
You made a mistake?
2445
- Yes, I did.
- Wait a minute.
2446
Truth serum, DNA matches.
2447
Who the hell are you,
Jack Byrnes?
2448
I'm not really a florist,
Bernard.
2449
I was in the CIA
for 32 years.
2450
And I retired
right before I met Greg.
2451
Oh, sure.
Well, that makes sense.
2452
Bernie, what the heck are you
still doing here?
2453
Ira.
2454
Open up, let these guys out.
2455
Judge, what exactly
did he say to you?
2456
He didn't have
to say anything.
2457
Dr. Roz saved my marriage.
2458
I'd do anything
for that woman.
2459
You tell sugar-pants
2460
I'll see her in class
next week.
2461
Will do, Ira. Thanks.
2462
Well, what can I say?
2463
I'm married to
a powerful woman.
2464
All right, gentlemen.
Let's go. Excuse me.
2465
What?
2466
Can you close the cell door?
2467
Focker! You want
to remain in the cell?
2468
We're not done talking yet.
2469
What?
2470
So, what do you think,
huh? Hmm?
2471
Can we work this out or not?
2472
Okay.
2473
Jack?
2474
Uh...
2475
Good enough.
2476
All right, then, uh,
2477
I think Pam and I
should-- should get married
2478
this weekend.
2479
This weekend?
2480
Oh, I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.
2481
You wanna be in the circle
or not, Jack?
2482
Okay,
we'll do it this weekend.
2483
Oh, Jack.
2484
Hey, I think I can get
Judge Ira to marry you guys.
2485
Oh, I don't think so.
2486
But if it's all right
with you, Greg,
2487
I already have
a minister in mind.
2488
Oh my God, Daddy.
You didn't!
2489
Meeting Greg made
such an impression on Kevin,
2490
he spent eight months
in Israel on a kibbutz,
2491
then he took
an Internet course
2492
and got ordained
as an inter-faith minister.
2493
Jack told me you were okay
2494
with me conducting
the ceremony.
2495
I hope that's true.
2496
Yeah, yeah, no,
I think it's great.
2497
I mean, it is a little weird.
2498
You listen to me
when I say this.
2499
Pam and I didn't have
2500
one-tenth
of the spiritual connection
2501
that you two obviously share.
2502
I mean, I look at you both
together and you're beautiful.
2503
I get it. Okay?
2504
Okay, thank you, Kevin.
2505
Thank you, Greg.
2506
You're gonna be a great mom,
Pamcake.
2507
Thank you, Daddy.
2508
And who gives this woman
to this man?
2509
I do.
Jack Tiberius Byrnes.
2510
Daddy.
2511
Sorry, Greg.
2512
She's all yours now.
2513
That was sweet, honey.
2514
Are you all right?
2515
Shalom, everyone.
2516
Shalom.
2517
Which is Hebrew for
''what's going on?''
2518
Let us begin with
the blessing of the wine.
2519
Amen.
2520
Kevin.
What?
2521
Yeah, go ahead.
2522
Well, hi.
2523
Rosalind.
Yeah.
2524
I just have to say
I underestimated you.
2525
Oh.
2526
When it comes to relationships
2527
I'm starting to see
2528
that you might actually know
what you're talking about.
2529
I appreciate that, Jack.
2530
Really, thank you.
2531
I also was curious about
the advice you gave Judge Ira.
2532
Mmm.
2533
Is that
classified information?
2534
I thought you'd never ask.
2535
I'm gonna give you
a crash course, okay?
2536
Come here.
2537
Really?
2538
Uh-huh.
2539
And I do that for
how many minutes?
2540
Hey! There's my brother
from another mother.
2541
Congratulations, Jacko.
2542
Put that away, Bernard.
2543
We're family now.
2544
We're family.
2545
Now, if you'll excuse me,
2546
I have some unfinished
business to take care of.
2547
Go get her, tiger.
2548
We Fockerized him.
2549
Sure did.
2550
I'd like to Fockerize you.
2551
Sweetheart, do we have
to hurry like this?
2552
Honey,
we're in a covert operation.
2553
The bandleader
told me we have 23 minutes
2554
before
they cut the cake.
2555
Jack, what are you doing?
2556
Little trick
Bernie taught me.
2557
Now let's find out, L. J.,
2558
why the Ferber method
isn't working.
2559
Oh, hi, baby.
2560
Hi, Little Jack.
Okay.
2561
Oh, look what I brought you.
2562
Oh, what did I bring?
A chocolate.
2563
For the baby.
2564
Yummy, is that good?
2565
I know you're
not supposed to have this.
2566
Grandpa Jack
doesn't like chocolate.
2567
But he's a little,
you know, whacko.
2568
Don't tell him, okay?
2569
You know what? I got some
cake in the refrigerator.
2570
Later I'll bring
you that, okay?
2571
Chocolate cake.
Good boy.
2572
But don't tell anyone, okay?
One more.
2573
You yell and scream
all you want.
2574
Make noise, that's what
this country's all about.
2575
I think we've got a
little protester on our hands.
2576
Oh, it figures,
2577
I should've known
this was gonna go on.
2578
Always question authority.
2579
You have to question everything
EI Stiffo Grandpa Jack says.
2580
You know why?
Because' he's full of...
2581
Because he's full of...
2582
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2583
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2584
There he is.
Little Man Jack.
2585
How're you doing?
2586
Can I interest you
in a little vodka?
2587
Just kidding.
2588
I'm, like, uh, officially
your uncle now.
2589
So I was thinking
2590
maybe I should give you
some uncley advice.
2591
You know, little hints
for surviving in this family
2592
'cause you gotta learn
to keep secrets
2593
from your psycho Grandpa Jack.
2594
He was really upset
2595
when you crawled out
of the playpen.
2596
Which is why we never tell him
that instead of watching you,
2597
I was actually
out by the lagoon
2598
smoking a little reefer.
2599
Or that whole thing
about Pam being pregnant.
2600
There's no little Focker
on the way.
2601
Whole thing was just made up
2602
so Jack would
let us get married. But--
2603
You gotta do
what you gotta do, right?
2604
That's cute, that little
alligator tchotchke thing.
2605
What's that in its mouth?
2606
It's got like a-- a camera!
2607
Busted.
2608
Hi, Jack.
2609
I knew you were there
all along. I was just, uh,
2610
doin' a little show for you.
2611
You know I don't smoke pot
or anything,
2612
and Pam is pregnant.
2613
You should've seen the look
on your face, though.
2614
Oh, so good.
2615
Asshole.
2616
Hey, look at me,
Jack, what am I?
2617
I am a frozen caveman.
2618
Study me, Jack.
2619
Learn how strange
the Focker genetic code is.
2620
We are weird mutants
who hug and kiss.
2621
We show emotion.
2622
Jack must learn from us
2623
and chip away
with his hammer of truth.
2624
Ha, Focker.
2625
Wooga booga.
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